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My Transition 3
Since childhood, I aspired to become a priest. I graduated from a Catholic institution and shortly entered the seminary. Imagine this: your dream is to become a priest your whole life. When you finally enter the seminary, something does not feel right. I felt something was off - not with me, but with the situation - and though I could not fully explain it, I knew it was not right. So, I left the seminary. I had the same feeling - something was wrong with the doctrine. Still, I continued to live my life as a Catholic at that time.
You have to see my situation when I worked abroad, i.e., before going to the U.S. Most of my savings went to providing my parents monthly allowance and helping people. My ex-wife thinks it is unfair if I do not give the same amount to her parents, so I send them an allowance every month (i.e., both my parents and parents-in-law). Also, my brother needed my help, so I took care of him and brought him to that country to give him hope and a new life. My good neighbor (who moved out of our village and lived somewhere) and I worked in that country. Since their line of work matched the skill set of my brother, I asked for his help to help my brother get a job in their company. I took care of my brother, so he stayed with me as he started his new life in that country. Also, my aunt asked for help from my cousin because he is now attending college. Though I already carried a heavy payload or there was a lot on my plate, I still considered the welfare of my cousin and sent college allowance. It is not a self-glorification (and please do not put any evil malice) but a glimpse that I am not a selfish or lazy who stays in the room and has no job. I have a job, i.e., a whistleblower job, and it is a “difficult job” because many people hate me, while on my side, I’m thinking of their welfare.
I remember someone left me in the middle of the night, sneaking out like a thief. Before it happened, she kept pushing me to go back to work. She only thinks of the financial aspect as if I am just a cash cow to generate money for them. They do not understand that it is not easy to lose my status in the United States, lose my investment in that great American Dream, and lose my master’s degree scholarship in the US, where few months left, I should have graduated that time, lost my job in California, where the company is good, the Director is great and offered me H1B status including my family, one month left to have that status. I’ve got a job while having a student visa because it is part of the Master’s Degree to have a job, and it’s a great program at that University. All the bright future of that American Dream got lost in one night, all my savings gone (someone withdrew it without informing me), and all they cared about was for me to find a job. I’m not a cash cow. I am a human being who feels sad about what I’ve lost.
When my world turned upside down, I chose to focus on GOD rather than dwell on negativity, though many might perceive it that way. In a world of darkness, I believe there is someone who can give us light, and He is GOD. As mentioned in my previous posts, I spent a year confined to my studio house, reflecting and studying the Old and New Testaments. As Catholics, we are taught that Jesus is GOD, but the more I delved into the Bible, the more inconsistencies I found with that claim. I sought Jesus because I thought He was GOD, but the deeper I read, the more I noticed the loopholes in this belief that Jesus is not GOD. I also researched the history of the Roman Catholic Church and uncovered some of the dark things it has done throughout history. There are many good people within the Roman Catholic Church, but it is the false doctrines that control how they think and act. Of course, we cannot generalize, as there are many good-hearted Christians out there, and they are the reason why I’m doing this is to try to save them from the false doctrine. I dedicated myself to investigating and documenting the truths I was discovering. But when I refused to stop, I was abducted, placed in a mental rehabilitation facility, and pushed to find a job. This part will help you understand my psychology and how it connects to their action to push me back to work.
As mentioned in my previous posts, after that abduction and wrong imprisonment in the mental rehabilitation, they stole my research materials, the documents, the card boards, my compilations. They never gave it back to me. They still push me to go back to work, but I know this is a diversion tactic to push me away from seeing the truth. Seeing the truth that there is corruption during the time of Martin Luther is not craziness or insanity that you put someone into the mental rehab. Seeing the evil Roman Catholic Inquisition where a lot of Jews died in their hands through their torture and persecutions is not craziness or insanity. Discovering that a lot of scientist died e.g. those chemist at their times where science is not well-known but only to a few, died in the hands of the Inquisitors of the Roman Catholic wrongly persecuted as witchcraft and sorcery. Seeing the story of Galileo Galilei and the loopholes of their doctrines is not craziness or insanity that you have to put someone into the mental rehabilitation. Of course they will reason out that they think that I’m going crazy for watching outside the door for those men in motorcycles, how about if I watch outside for a van vehicle with men inside it, does it sounds crazy for them? I’m not crazy or insane, of course they will have to put something on the record to justify their wrong abduction and wrong improsenment done against me.
Against my will, I’ve applied for a job, got it and had promotions, but despite that, something is missing. I stll long for GOD and His Truth, so I’ve continued my research and did daily reflections, not just research about the doctrines, but iternalize it and ponder upon it. Learning from the past, I’ve compiled my learning into documents and later convert it into a book titled Save Our Souls . What good are those enlightenment if I just keep it to myself. The question is, are you just think of yourself and keep those enlightenment for yourself? Or would you consider the welfare of others above yourself? I’ve chose to prioritize GOD and the welfare of the people above myself. Here is how I put it.
A candle burns not for self-glorification, but it burns itself to give light to others.
— Fritz Jeran L. Velasco
Although I’m burning myself out to give light to others, I know GOD can see my sincerity and dedication to my good intention for Him and the welfare of the people, that some teachers don’t, that a “somebody” doesn’t, that others don’t. Again, from the lesson of the life of Galileo Galilei, the Truth that I’m giving to the people is the Truth, regardless the whole world does not believe in it. Their lies are still lies even though they convinced the whole world to believe in their lies.
What happened next? Did I find a job? Did I continue to whistleblow? What are the things I’ve applied learning from the lessons from the past of the wrong things they have done to me? Find out in the next post.