My Messiah, I humbly ask for your help in my conversion to Orthodox Judaism. I have followed all the instructions and suggestions given to me, faced far more rejection than expected or required, and exhausted my resources along the way. Despite my dedication, I am left to struggle and learn on my own. Only one Rabbi, who treated me and the Noahides with respect and dignity, was willing to help. However, it was not under the Orthodox framework. By the time I tried to reconnect, he was no longer present in the place where he previously resided. For years, I have reached out to local Jewish centers. Following the advice of a Jewish Association leader, I visited those websites that he recommended and attended online Rabbi lectures but was left behind, without even an invitation letter before my deportation in Israel. For months, I've attended lectures from an online Rabbi but taken negatively, even though I approached gently and respectfully, simply asking hard questions. I remain deeply committed to my intention to convert to Orthodox Judaism.
I went to Israel to show my sincerity. When I arrived, I greeted someone respectfully and said good morning, not knowing he was an officer since he wore civilian clothes. During his interview, I felt discriminated. Later, he had a female officer speak with me and check my laptop. She saw my Isarel wallpaper. I showed her my conversion lesson schedule and the Torah studies, emails with the Rabbis and I explained that I sincerely wanted to convert to Judaism. When they gathered, she was not able to defend and they got me deported. After that, she asked me what is my next plan. I told her that I would continue my Torah/Tanakh studies and here is the output:
Save Our Souls book that I've authored. Not even one night to pray in Kotel or Western Wall to our GOD of Israel was given, so what I did is to think that the Ben Gurion airport wall is the Kotel and pray there. Despite that, I still followed the first officer advice to convert outside Israel, but none have given me such chance. The Rabbi whom I communicated several months even before going to Israel, just left me out, not even an invitation letter wss given. He did not even visit me during that deportation stage.
Outside Israel, I traveled to another Jewish center to join the Israel Independence Day Celebration and.to share my intention for the conversion. Blocked at the gate, they instructed me to go back the next day. I stayed in the 7-Eleven store nearby that whole night. When I went back, they threw me out and got me publicly humiliated surrounded by many police, for the reason of public disturbance where I silently sat across the street, with no sleep, inhaling the dust and smoke of the vehicles passing by, very hungry and dizzy, hoping I could have breakfast with my fellow Jews. I was pushed out and before I left, I told the leader of that group of police to please protect my fellow Jews even he is a Christian. Feeling dizzy, with deep sorrow for the humiliation and the maltreatment, I bought an airplane return ticket that same day and didn't mind the cost. I slept on the airport bench while I waited for my return flight.
In our local area, I tried to reconnect with the Rabbi who treated me with respect and dignity, but he is no longer present in the place he previoualy resided. I found on a website that there was a new Rabbi in a different location. I went there and respectfully introduced myself and shared my experience. He asked for my passport, and with a clear conscience and sincere intention, I gave him a copy. No help ever came. When I went to Israel, I sold my inheritance land to my brother to cover travel and conversion expenses. Now, I have no inheritance left. My savings were depleted. I returned to that new place of the new Rabbi with only my clothes and my guitar, hoping to stay in their place and continue my studies. I had nothing to eat. In that new location, another Rabbi, who said he came from another country, gave me water, food, and a small amount of money, then told me to wait the whole night at a 7-Eleven store to meet the next day. Before we parted, he urged me to find work, but he did not understand my situation and even said bad words to me. I asked him to read my book, but he kept pressuring me to find work before reading my book. He does not understand my situation. My own family orchestrated an abduction and had me imprisoned in a mental hospital against my will because of my whistleblowing. Do you think a workplace is beyond the reach of influence of those evil people defending the false doctrine? What are the possible legal cases that can be used and abused against a whistleblower in a workplace? The next day he ghosted me and did not reply to my phone messages. Now, I live begging for donations/money to buy food while continually studying about GOD, His Nature, theologies, Faith, and Principles.
I've also asked for help from the Israel Embassy but they are unable to help. I have followed the escalation ladder for conversion but no chance was given. I have also tried asking for help from the local government (non-Israel government) but there's a separation between Church and State Law so they are not able to help. The book that I've authored includes a plea for help from the Israeli Government and the Rabbinic Authority in Israel and hope that help will come soon.
Almost a decade of my life was spent chasing conversion. These are not just ordinary years but these are my prime years gone. Please look not on the Character Assasination done against me to ruin my reputation and credibility because of their hatred and Anti-Semitism and also for being a whistleblower against their false doctrine to save good people. At this point, if no one can see my sincerity and dedication, our loving GOD gave you a gift of sensing if someone is telling the Truth and hope you can sense that I'm telling the Truth, my sincerity and dedication for GOD, for conversion, to be a light to all against the false doctrine and to positively comtribute in molding our future generarions centered on GOD and His Nature. Revenge is NOT the answer because GOD can provide me Justice.
My Messiah, please take me to Jerusalem to be with my people together aa One in our Faith to GOD
Hashem Ha Kadosh Baruch Hu. Please be the one who will convert me to Orthodox Judaism. Your people are my people and your GOD is my GOD. Shema Israel, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad.
My blessed Messiah, is the language of my sufferings, hardships and painful experiences not Love for GOD? What will.we do for our Love for GOD? Thank you my Messiah for reading my plea for help post.